In a city like New York, there are two times a year that we, as single seekers, require a suitor: New Year’s Eve and February Fourteenth. On my calendar of perpetual one-nighters, missed calls and mixed signals, I am booked solid and already scratched off New Year’s with a rousing check-mark.
“It looks like mashed potatoes and gravy,” I grumbled, trying to hurl myself over a thigh-deep highland of muddy snow and make it to the other side of the avenue, which was no small task. The traffic light had already changed in color.
“Are those bread bags on your feet?” “Right foot is Wonder Bread, the other, Martin’s.” “Don't be a dummy,” I said, pointing to my inventive shoe covered limbs. “Your Lagerfelds?” “I'm saving them for Valentine’s night," I added in my defense.
Luke responded with a resounding sigh. "Ah, les sucreries du jour, plaisirs et l'âne," he said. "Day of sweet ass?" I asked. "It's the best sex I've had. We have no idea what the other is saying. I just point and shoot. Loves to sniff my bush," he generously added. "Well, I'm in a romantic mood, tell Pepé Le Pew, when he comes up for air, to meet us for cocktails."
My amorous spirit soon died as I entered the building. A new up-and-coming network to feature GuyFriday, my column, was about to be decided upon. “What if I bomb? Totally clam up?” “You will be fine, Kid. If not,” Luke winked, “crawl under his desk and wank his meat …”
Grady spent most of the closed office-snow day climbing in leaps and bounds, through the snow, that is. Sure, the thought of Saint Valentine’s Day brings all sorts of flights of fancy, but shopping for Marc’s surprise gift was simply exhausting. “Just add a big red bow!” He squealed. “Two more weeks and you’re mine, well Marc’s actually!” Just before he closed the deal, a surprise kiss brought a hot blush to his cold cheek …
Nate and Will became quite sociable since my first date with Nathan. For Will, being involved with Daniel Parks, the film-maker, gave their new friendship common ground for shoptalk: relationships. “I thought I’d show you what I got Joey”.
Will leaned and waited for Nate to pass him his cell phone. He chattered on. “Nate and Joey sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” Will crooned stupidly, reached for the phone, and choked on a soggy french-fry…